23 LESSONS FROM MALL SANTAS

Mall Santas are a traditional part of December. Do you remember the magic from your childhood? We can learn many lessons from them.

1. Sacrifice: Parents (grandparents) will stand in line for ages for their kids (grandkids).
2. Free: People will stand in line for a small, free candy cane.
3. Disguise: Mall Santas wear costumes which cover up who they really are.
4. Fright: Mall Santas scare some small children (clowns do too).
5. Disbelief: How can Santa be in different malls and look slightly different in them?
6. Belief: Children want to believe that Santa hears their wishes and will bring them a pony.
7. Priorities: Shouldn’t Santa be at the North Pole getting ready for the big night?
8. Impressionable: Children want to believe in Santa even when they’re skeptical.
9. Cutbacks: The candy canes have become smaller over the years. Dentists may approve but children do not.
10. Vanish: If the requested gifts don’t arrive, the Mall Santa is gone.
11. Scarcity: Mall Santas have limited working hours and working days.
12. Gouging: Photos with Mall Santas used to be free if you used your own camera.
13. Job Security: Mall Santas are easy to replace.
14. Appearance: Mall Santas show that a rolly polly figure can be an asset.
15. Monotony: There’s lots of repetition in listing to gift requests and giving out candy canes.
16. Impersonal: Visitors don’t get much time with Santa. Next.
17. Off-season: Mall Santas have a very short work season (unlike the team at the North Pole).
18. One-sided: Who asks what the Mall Santa wants?
19. Supervision: Mall Santas are trusted with gift wishes but not enough to be left alone with the children.
20. Breaks: Mall Santas can’t take a coffee break whenever they want.
21. Noncommittal: Mall Santas don’t guarantee that the requested gifts will be delivered (but the real Santa doesn’t either).
22. Naivety: Mall Santas tend to satisfy young kids … the older ones want a candy cane or mischief.
23. Consumerism: Mall Santas are better with the gifts that money can buy (and which the mall sells).

This is the final post of 2013.

Best wishes to you and yours during the holidays.
May 2014 be the best year you've seen!

Links

• How to get a job as a Mall Santa (Slate, 2006)
• 25 things your Mall Santa won’t tell you (Reader’s Digest)
• What Santa earns (PayScale, Dec 2006)
• The most special time of year
• 2012 final post: Where there’s willpower there’s a way
• 2011 final post: The most special time of year
• 2010 final post: Got 59 seconds for your gift list?
• 2009 final post: The gift of networking
• 2008 final post: Christmas in the emergency ward
• 2007 final post: Give your greatest gift
• image of Simpsons via Smashing Tops (Top 15 movie quotes about Christmas)
• image of Santa and dog courtesy of Mdk572

Podcast 251?

The podcasts have ended. You’ll find 250 episodes at podcast.riscario.com.

PS Look for more video in 2014 …

ARE YOUR FINANCES SNOWED IN?

You can't hear snow fall. You might not see the flurries accumulate if you’re asleep or away from a window. Where did all the snow come from? More important, how do you clear the deluge?

The tax-funded snow plows clear the streets, though perhaps not as quickly as you’d like. You’re left to tackle your own driveway and walkway with your shovel or snow blower. You’re left to tackle your finances too.

Not Again

Winter arrives every year. We know we need to prepare but continue getting surprised by

• the first light snow fall: where are the scarf, boots and ice scraper?
  
• the first snow storm: where’s the shovel and ice melter?
  
• the first cold spell: where’s the extra warm winter gear?

Have you put a shovel in your car? Do you have enough ice melter? Is there fuel for the snow blower and does it start? Did you get your furnace inspected?

We get surprised by our finances too. Do you know where everything is when you need it? Are we on track with our goals? Do we require an inspection or maintenance? It’s easier to think we’re prepared than to prepare.

Forecasts

Meteorologists want to give accurate forecasts but we can’t rely on them even if your favorite station has a weather guarantee. Storms get missed  or become more severe than predicted. Other storms are milder, if they even occur.

Financial forecasts are inaccurate but advisors often find plausible reasons for you to entrust more of your money with them. If investment returns are high, we’re encouraged to invest more to take advantage. If the returns are poor, we’re also encouraged to invest more to offset the poor performance and be ready for future growth.

Example

We were expecting 12 to 20 cm of snow overnight. Since I needed to register for a yoga class at 6:30 AM (not a typo), I got fuel for the snow blower. Nothing happened. Now the forecasters predict 6-12 cm in total. They’re probably right. I’ve already shoveled once. Maybe the snow blower will get a workout after all.

Your Finances

You can hire a snow plow service for the season but you can’t be sure if they’ll be there when you need them. Their profits go down when they provide more service (i.e., when snow falls). Even with the best of intentions, they can’t plow all driveways at the same time or the right time.

Financial advice is similar. Unless advisors charge fees for their advice, they make more when they provide less service. They make more when you invest more and as your investments grow if they charge based on the assets they invest for you. Their expenses pile up even if your assets melt.

Links

• 20 things to do on a Snow Day (Centsible Life)
  
• Reminders from disasters like Superstorm Sandy
  
• Is your life insurance like a shovel or snow blower?
  
• 9/13: prepare your disaster recovery plan now
  
• image courtesy of Igor Zhorov

Podcast 250

direct download | Internet Archive page | iTunes

PS When I wanted to use my snow brush, I found it wasn’t in the vehicle.